Anrui Kanrui
by Tereya
Summary: (Silent Tears, Tears of Gratitude) A story of unexpected consequences to one's intentions. (Omakes extracted for stand-alone reading and placed in "Eva Menagerie")
1. Chapter One

Anrui / Kanrui: Chapter 01  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Evangelion, so please don't sue me. I like to think it's a form of flattery, that we just can't get enough of that NGE goodness.  
  
A/N: I'm not really a writer, I just like to write. This came to me while I was at work and I thought I'd write it out. Let me know if it's worth pursuing, please. Even this chapter may get reworked, depending on input. We'll find out. I understand I haven't given you much, but there are... hints... in here... (Whee!) ^_^  
  
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Shinji stared at the young redhead before him. His mind still hadn't fully comprehended what she had just said and his face showed it. The object of his intense gaze was suddenly very unsure of her motives in what she did. Being the type of person she was, though, she couldn't back down. Not now.  
  
"W-what?" the young boy stammered softly, the notion of what she said finally getting through. He had heard what she had said just fine but was hoping that he was mistaken.  
  
"You heard me, idiot. I said it was just a joke." Her mind raced, why wasn't he crying? Where was the sweet victory she had fantasized about? He looked dumbfounded but by now he should have been a simpering wreck... And yet all he did was stare. Asuka was getting worried, this wasn't going as planned. Somewhere she noticed a strange discomfort... maybe it was having it turn out different than her projections? No... It felt different... Even SHE wasn't feeling as she planned. What was going on?  
  
'Well, time to give it one more push then...' she thought to herself.  
  
"So, like I said, thanks for the memories but you can keep them." and so saying she closed her eyes, hands resting on her hips as if she didn't care in the least about the time they spent together for the previous two weeks.  
  
The boy continued to stare. Deep inside he could feel a wrenching, a twisting within himself that ached and then began to burn.  
  
Asuka opened her eyes just in time to see Shinji's face contort into a pained mask. She suddenly felt exactly what he did deep down inside... that same wrenching. What had she done!?  
  
Before she could utter another word to make things worse or better, before she could arrange her thoughts and figure out why she felt so horrible suddenly... Shinji's face changed.  
  
He no longer stared at her and he no longer wore the heartbreakingly pained face of a moment before. His face now was impassive, emotionless. Asuka wasn't sure if this made things worse or not.  
  
It did. He was staring through her, at something behind her. That wrenching in her chest suddenly felt a hundred times worse. 'Oh no...' she thought, 'what have I done?'  
  
Shinji stepped to the side, then forward past Asuka to his door behind her. As he passed Asuka only manage a "Hey, where do-" before he had opened the door and stepped out. Suddenly forgetting the unfamiliar pain in her chest she whirled around and hurried out the open door... Only to come to an abrupt stop directly in front of the boy just outside the door.  
  
"W-what!?" the redhead yelled indignantly, but Shinji made no reply and simply stepped past her again, back into his room... And slid his door closed.  
  
Asuka had only been able to turn towards the door before it shut firmly. A quiet, "W-wha?" slipped from her lips before she found herself fuming, clenching her fists at her sides and gritting her teeth.  
  
Noone... NOone made a fool out of HER. She raised her fist and began slamming it against the door loudly, half in an attempt to get the occupant's attention and half to break the door down so she could continue the beating on said occupant.  
  
"Shinji! You better get your ass back out here, we still have some things to discuss!" Her words near the end of her tirade sounded slightly weak... As if she, herself, was giving thought to their validity.  
  
After a few moments with no response the Second Child let out an infuriated scream and stomped to her own room. '"The Idiot" had plenty to think about now' she thought, maybe letting him stew would be the best course of action anyway. Unfortunately for her she found herself doing plenty of thinking as well. 


	2. Chapter Two

Anrui / Kanrui: Chapter 02  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything in regards to Evangelion.   
  
A/N: Well, thanks go out to everyone who read my little teaser, and a little extra luvvin' to those who reviewed. Y'buncha sweeties. ^_^ I'm not sure if this has been done before but I don't recall having read anything like it except vaguely. This chapter will clear up SOME... of the questions people have... (maybe) and will also probably decide who stays to read and who hits 'Back' to find something more interesting. I decided that this is going to be longer than I originally intended so it's going to be intentionally... vague-ish... at the start. I want to give people pieces and wait for them to say "Oooh! _I_ know!" and speculate and such. (I'm a dork, sue me) Also, I don't know how well this will come across but the style of writing may change according to situation. I'm hoping it comes out interesting rather than hard to read.  
  
Honestly, none of this is coming out as well as I wanted but I want to get it out of my head before I explode. Maybe I'll re-write it when I'm done if I'm unhappy with the final results. So far it's 0-2. Why can't I just have a plug that I can download what I THINK directly into an easy to view format? *sigh*  
  
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Asuka groggily rolled over, inadvertantly twisting her shirt more securely around herself in the process. The constricting tightness biting into her upper arm and shoulder as a result. This, in turn, pulled her further from the the implied comforts of sleep. With her eyes still closed she was trying to decide if sleep had helped in any way, but groaned to herself when she realized that the jury was still out on that one.  
  
Groaning a bit more loudly Asuka was able to disentangle herself from the bedsheets and clothing which had wound themselves around her in her fitful sleep. At some point in the previous evening, while thinking about all that happened in the past couple weeks, she had fallen asleep atop her made bed while fully clothed. She was painfully aware of how much tossing and turning she had done, which was evident in the mess she made of her bed. Unfortunately it was the cause of all that restlessness that pained her so.  
  
'I don't know what my dreams were about,' she thought to herself, 'but I know I didn't like them.'  
  
There were many contributing factors to her current state of irritation. For one, that baka-Shinji had outright defied her. This in and of itself would cause her vexation, but there was so much more to go along with it. Careful planning went into making the perfect Shinji-roast and nothing went according to her calculations. She had failed. Failed... because of HIM.  
  
Thoughts from the previous evening's meditation began to trickle back to Asuka's conscious mind. Her brow darkened as more revelations made themselves known, no doubt the cause of her bad dreams.  
  
Sitting up on her bed she scratched her fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp to relieve herself of the feeling of tangled bed-head. Hoping this would create a respite of sorts from her thought processes, she was let down when more and more came back as blood began to circulate more easily. Asuka's brow darkened further as she recalled more and more of her thoughts from the night before.  
  
'That... that BAKA!' her inner voice shouted. All her planning was for nothing, not only that it was as if she had wasted two weeks of her life that... here she faltered and a tiny, almost insignificant voice inside her head said, '...was it really a waste?' but she conveniently ignored it and smothered it with verbal abuse at the situation.  
  
The previous night's revelations would not leave her so quickly though. Any and all thoughts that could be construed as a weakness were fuel for her irate fire. They were all his fault. Even the fact that she didn't feel as she had projected. That... intensity... within her chest, where did that come from? It had felt like someone had her heart in a deathgrip and was slowly twisting it. She had felt it before but couldn't remember where. A sinking feeling... as though all was not well...  
  
'All WAS not well!' She thought to herself. Her lips curled slowly into a smirk. Maybe that's what it had been, knowledge that her plan had failed. She prided herself on being the best and that plan hadn't gone nearly as smoothly as she had hoped. Failure, obviously, felt even worse than she had ever imagined.  
  
Rising from her bed, Asuka mulled over a few of the other points she had thought to torture herself with the night before. As if on autopilot she gathered what she needed for her morning ritual and devoted her now nearly-fully-awake brain to sorting through the things that had... well, pissed her off so much.  
  
'I really thought he would be a simpering wreck.' she thought, opening her door and heading towards the bathroom. 'What was that look in his eyes? I expected him to cry, I thought I did a good job of getting him to open up and care about me-' she paused wondering why that sounded so... well, evil. She pushed it aside and decided not to think about it. She did what she did because she was bored and wanted Shinji to suffer... always apologizing, always muttering, always acting like a little child. '...teach him to not be such a weakling... Teach him not to compete with ME! Teach him... who's boss.'  
  
'Everything went wrong because of HIM... pissed myself off thinking about it... slept in my clothes... had irritating dreams...'  
  
The door to the bathroom slamming shut was like a loud exclamation point at the end of her last thought on the subject, '...and noone called me for dinner!'  
  
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Shinji sat at the kitchen table and ate quietly, as he did most mornings. After feeding Pen-Pen he had made his lunch and began breakfast. He had made just enough so that he had not made breakfast specifically for both his roommates, but rather depending on how much they ate there might be enough for both. Just as he was finishing up he heard the door to the bathroom open and Asuka make her way back to her room. He had hoped that Misato would be up before Asuka but decided, in the end, it didn't really matter.  
  
He paused momentarily before taking the final bite of his toast. Things were certainly going to get difficult in his life, even more difficult than before. He was sure of it. He stared at the triangular corner of toast in his hand. Was he doing the right thing? He hoped so. No time to think on it now though...  
  
Asuka rounded the corner half expecting Shinji to be there and half not wanting him to be. Her morning habits not even dimming the raging fire that was coursing through her. She wasn't able to get the answers she wanted the night before, and thinking about it had caused her nothing but irritation. She felt she should share the feeling.  
  
"Good morning, Shinji." she stated fiercely. She stood just inside the doorway with her hands on her hips, a veritable wall of determined purpose. Her lips were twisted into an insult to smiles everywhere.  
  
Shinji silently placed the triangle of toasted bread in his mouth and chewed it as he had every other time... seemingly unaware of the redhead's entrance.  
  
A scowl crossed Asuka's face as she glared openly at the boy, "Are you deaf, baka?" she nearly yelled, "I said, 'Good morning!'"  
  
After a quiet pause where Shinji lifted his orange juice to his mouth and took a sip he placed the glass back down and... sat silently.  
  
Within the acoustics of the kitchen only two sounds could be heard. One was a slight scraping as the warm water penguin ate from his bowl, the bottom of it gently sliding against the floor. The other sound was much quieter, but so much more menacing. Asuka's teeth were grinding together with enough force from her jaw to actually be audible.  
  
Still Shinji sat.  
  
"GODDAMNIT, SHIN-" Asuka was suddenly cut off by the appearance of the household's other occupant. Katsuragi Misato, having been woken by the girl's earlier outburst, staggered into the kitchen after wedging herself through the space between Asuka and the doorway frame.  
  
"Asuka! It's too early for that, yell later..." Misato grumbled as she passed. "Shinji-kun, good morning."  
  
Shinji turned in his seat, to the surprise of Asuka, and said, "Misato-san, good morning." with his usual muted cheer. He raised up out of his seat and began collecting his table settings.  
  
Misato yawned loudly, rubbing her temple with the ball of her palm. "Asuka, good morning to you too... if you can keep from responding in a shout."  
  
Asuka stared at Shinji as he went about cleaning his plate and glass in the sink. Compared to how she felt after seeing that, her earlier irritation was considerably minor. He... had ignored her! Completely! Asuka growled out a low, "Good morning, Misato." before stalking forward and taking a seat at the table.  
  
M. Katsuragi, director of operations at NERV, knew when something was amiss. This was obviously one of those times. Forgoing a beer for this morning she made her way over to the coffee machine which had thoughtfully been prepared for her arrival by Shinji. She inhaled the rich aroma of the brewing coffee and turned to Shinji, "Shinji-kun! Thank you!"  
  
Shinji smiled awkwardly, "You're welcome. I wasn't sure if you wanted coffee or... something else instead, so thought to make it just in case." Shinji was a bit worried that his guardian had shown herself to have a considerable lack of judgement when it came to her drinking. He wasn't positive but was fairly convinced that alcohol in the morning was a bad sign. He hoped having coffee ready in the mornings instead might... well... might help in some way.  
  
Misato smiled brightly as she rummaged through the cupboards for an appropriate mug. She decided that the "I *heart* Cats" mug given to her by Ritsuko would be the most easily accepted one. Her others, having been given to her on birthdays by friends who considered themselves practical jokers, wouldn't be received so well by her two charges.  
  
Asuka glared at her two roommates, fuming to herself. 'Don't THEY look happy' her sarcastic inner voice said. Apparently the little baka wanted to fight. Ignoring her... the nerve! So he really WAS pissed off about what happened. Good! He deserved it. Feeling slightly better about at least getting a reaction out of her target she frowned when she realized noone was getting her breakfast.  
  
Misato had already filled a plate for herself and thanked Shinji again. She sat down across from Asuka and began eating.  
  
"Where's mine!?" Asuka asked suddenly.   
  
Misato looked up from her plate and said, "There's still some left, don't worry."  
  
Asuka's brow knitted close as she turned to Shinji. Usually he'd get everything for her. She stared at him, waiting expectantly and was surprised to see him pick up his bento from the counter and start walking out of the kitchen.  
  
Misato's eyes flickered from Asuka to Shinji and back repeatedly, she took in what she saw and filed everything away for later perusal. Something was definitely wrong. She continued to eat, opening her senses to what was happening around her. Contrary to what people thought, she wasn't as dumb as she was pretty.  
  
Just as Shinji was making his way out of the kitchen he called over his shoulder, "I'm leaving for school now, Misato-san. Have a good day at work."  
  
Misato swallowed what she had been chewing and said, "Have a good day at school, Shinji-kun." She also noticed Asuka's irate stare aimed at the boy.  
  
Asuka bristled, "Baka! You're not going to wait for me!?" she got up and stomped over to get what she could for breakfast out of what was left. Apparently Shinji thought he could just ignore her and everything would be fine. Well, she would certainly teach him a lesson or two.  
  
After gathering what he needed and putting his shoes on Shinji called out from the entranceway, "I'm leaving."  
  
Misato called back, "Have a safe trip."  
  
As the door closed Misato returned her attention to the fuming redhead before her and finally asked, "Care to talk about it?" 


	3. Chapter Three

Anrui / Kanrui: Chapter 03  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion. Please don't sue.  
  
A/N: *sigh* Nothing ever comes out right. I can't figure out what the problem is. I see everything so easily in my mind but can't translate it for people to experience. I'll keep trying though, it should get easier with time... right? (Hopefully)  
  
Hopefully I'll get a bit more exposition out this time around. There are so many things I want to put in here and I always seem to leave out important ones. I apologize about the slow pace but, believe it or not, it's kind of integral. Or maybe I'm just weird. I vote: Watermelon seed.  
  
Credit: I'm not sure where I first read it, but somewhere in one of the many fanfics I read Pen-Pen called Shinji "The Provider." I apologize to whoever came up with that, that I can't remember who you are. It fit so perfectly here that I used it. If anyone wishes me to remove it please let me know, if you were the one who thought of it let me know as well so I can give you credit for it. ("The Tall One" is temporary. I'm trying to get into Pen-Pen's mind) *boggle*  
  
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Pen-Pen wandered past the two females of the apartment sparing just the barest of confused looks. After his breakfast he noticed that things weren't the same as most mornings. The red-plumed one was seething, even more than usual, but it wasn't aimed anywhere since The Provider had left. Usually the young boy who made sure Pen-Pen was well fed would docilely take the punishment and meekly follow the girl out, sometimes being dragged behind her forcibly. The penguin hoped nothing too serious was going on, he liked his family and would hate to give any of them the Pen-Pen Cold Shoulder. Noone deserved that fate.  
  
Misato glanced at Pen-Pen as he shuddered, thinking to herself, 'Probably getting cold.'   
  
She returned her attention to the irate redhead before her and let out a quiet sigh.   
  
"Asuka, I thought you two were getting along so well." as much as she wanted to tease the girl and ask, "Trouble in paradise?" she refrained. Something serious was going on and she didn't need to ruin her chances at finding out what, exactly.  
  
Asuka grimaced at the thought, which didn't go unnoticed by Misato. The redhead's face went through a few different emotions before finally landing on 'anger' once again. It looked like a slot machine and Misato just got the most common payout.  
  
Misato decided a light touch might be needed, but she didn't have much time before Asuka would need to start for school. Cupping her coffee mug in both hands and staring down at it's contents she finally spoke quietly.  
  
"I was happy to see you both having so much fun." she started. It was true, she felt good about Shinji opening up and being a bit happier. She was glad that Asuka had toned things down and actually seemed to have fun and enjoy herself. God knew they all needed some respite after coming home from their job. Saving humanity wasn't as "fun" as, say, Aida thought it might be.  
  
She continued when Asuka didn't reply, "I hope whatever differences you two might have right now, that they can be dealt with swiftly." Her voice was a bit softer now. "I care about you both and I don't want to see either of you hurt."  
  
Asuka made a sour face, seemingly taking everything in. The kind words of the guardian of the house didn't seem to have their desired effect though. Misato realized this was much bigger than she originally thought and she wasn't going to get answers anytime soon. As a tactition she knew when to withdraw. Hopefully they'll come to her if she's needed and if not, work it out on their own peacefully.  
  
Knowing she wasn't going to get anywhere with the silent girl she resolved herself to not giving away her true intent of finding out what was wrong. Hoping in trying to set Asuka's mind at ease she thought reaffirming what she saw recently might give her perspective about it. She took a sip of coffee and then stated in a thoughtfully wistful tone, "It's hard to believe, Shinji's reaction I mean... he seemed to really enjoy the past couple wee-"  
  
Asuka stood up suddenly and shouted, "I KNOW! I know! Just... SHUT UP!" cutting Misato off and effectively halting any further comments.  
  
Misato stared at Asuka, having realized a very important fact.  
  
Whatever it was that happened, Asuka felt guilty.  
  
'For some reason, that fact makes me even more worried...' Misato thought to herself. Out loud she said softly, "Go to school. I'll clean up." then took another sip of coffee, averting her eyes as the german girl stomped out of the kitchen.  
  
For a long while after the door had closed for the second time Misato sat at the table. She knew she was going to be late for work but decided that the continued emotional stability (as much as it were) of her two charges was a part of that work. For, if they could not get along here... would they be able to be relied upon during an attack?  
  
She leaned her head forward and rested her cheek against her folded forearms on the table. With her head turned she was looking straight at Pen-Pen who had came back when Asuka had left.  
  
"Pen-Pen, what do you think is going on?"  
  
The penguin stared back at Misato, almost looking thoughtful even though his expression hadn't changed. After a blink he let out a quiet, "Wark."  
  
"Yeah, me too." Misato said understandingly.  
  
Pen-Pen would have rolled his eyes if he knew of the sarcasm implied. Instead he just wandered back out into the living room. He liked The Tall One, but she could be so dense at times.  
  
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Asuka thought about her morning on the way to school. She was still unbelievably irate at Shinji for outright ignoring her and now added to that was the fact that he hadn't made her lunch either. Other feelings surfaced during her walk and she didn't like the tone they took.  
  
'I know he liked the time we spent together, who wouldn't?' her mind spoke. 'He was SUPPOSED to enjoy it and-' the thought got cloudy, suddenly finishing with, 'why do I feel so bad about that?'  
  
She growled to herself wondering why that feeling suddenly came back. She had felt it when Misato was talking with her earlier, that wrenching feeling within her chest. She felt it when she brought up Shinji's feelings. This wasn't right, none of this was right.  
  
Deciding to experiment a little (controlled environment and all that, what could be more controlled than her own mind... right?) she allowed herself to think about Shinji's reactions. During the previous two weeks he had complimented her fairly often... 'Well, I deserve it...' she thought, with little conviction. She remembered how, near the end of the two weeks his face would naturally brighten slightly whenever she walked into the room.  
  
"There!" she said aloud, a pained look on her face. That sinking feeling in her heart was back. It was intense and caused her to nearly lose her breath. Her hand unconsciously went to her chest and she breathed deeply. She stood for a moment, contemplating.  
  
Suddenly realizing her surroundings she cursed to herself and turned around.  
  
Somehow she had walked right past the school.  
  
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Shinji sat in class listening to his SDAT player while waiting for everyone to arrive. He was much earlier than normal and had taken the time to study a bit more. Without the other people in the classroom he was able to relax finally and sink into his seat. He let his muscles go and laid limply, just listening to his music. Unfortunately, even with the music and his concentration on it, he found himself thinking about Asuka.  
  
"So, like I said, thanks for the memories but you can keep them." he could hear her in his mind, even over the music.  
  
Shinji's face contorted into a frown. 'Memories... huh?' he asked himself mentally. 'Memories...'  
  
"Memories..." he said aloud, not realizing it.  
  
'I WILL keep them.' he thought to himself. Even knowing it was a joke, all a big prank to get him to let down his guard... he still had enjoyed himself. He hadn't realized he could feel that way until he and Asuka started doing things together more. She had made it a point to take him places, to get him to have fun. He realized during that time that many of the things he worried about and obsessed over... weren't foremost in his mind. They were important, of course, but they weren't the only thing there anymore.  
  
Even if she had just done it all as a way to make a fool out of him, that didn't change the effect it had on him. There were two distinct outcomes from everything that happened. He felt as though his feelings were a pendulum that was suddenly pushed very hard. It swung further than it ever had before towards happiness and contentment, then with Asuka's words the previous evening it swung back, past the center and out the other side... nearly as far the other way.  
  
He found his thoughts coming back to the fact that she had done everything for her planned outcome of ripping it all away from him. He felt used and betrayed, and it hurt more that it came from someone he found himself having feelings for. Deep feelings.  
  
He was gambling with those feelings. He decided to take a risk, thinking it didn't matter much in the end since he didn't have anything to lose. He had already lost it all... however... he wasn't completely convinced he HAD lost. He wasn't quite sure why, but things weren't adding up. He decided to wait, betting his feelings on the resolution of everything, on the faith in what didn't add up.  
  
Opening his eyes he noticed many of the students had already come in and were talking amongst themselves or getting ready for class to start. He glanced over and saw The First Child, Ayanami Rei, sitting silently and looking out the window. His attention was suddenly stolen by the entrance of Asuka who sounded even angrier than he had left her. Without so much as a twitch at her arrival Shinji continued to watch Ayanami. He could hear Asuka's muttered tirade clearly enough and just hoped Hikari showed up before Asuka decided to confront him again.  
  
No such luck.  
  
"Hey! Baka!" Asuka shouted at Shinji, having stopped in front of his desk. "Why didn't you make my lunch?" she asked angrily.  
  
Asuka stood for a few moments before she realized that Shinji wasn't going to respond. She leaned forward and snatched the earbuds from his ears and with her face almost directly in front of his shouted, "HEY, STUPID! WHERE IS MY LUNCH!?"  
  
The entire class stopped and watched the girl. Shinji had yet to move, or acknowledge Asuka in any way. He didn't even bother looking at her... he just stared... past... her.  
  
Asuka felt that pain in her chest again at this, this wasn't right. This was even worse than she thought. He wasn't just ignoring her.  
  
She didn't exist.  
  
Asuka staggered back, a momentary lapse in her composure. She dropped the headphones she was holding and was able to bring herself back slightly... but not all the way.  
  
She clenched her fist, her face scowling fiercely. She was shaking, whether it from fear or anger she couldn't tell. This couldn't be happening, not to her. Even if she WAS to bla- 'SHUT UP!' she shrieked to herself internally.  
  
'Ignore this...' she thought, disturbingly calm and smooth.  
  
With all the force she could gather her fist tore through the air and connected with Shinji's cheek, his head rocking back from the impact.  
  
The classroom was stunned. This was not the normal abuse she had shown the boy in the past, she had connected with full intent on serious damage. Noone dared move, they watched silently in stunned awe at what was happening.  
  
With a quick inhaled hiss Asuka clutched her injured hand with her good one and stared in disbelief as Shinji's head rolled back forward slowly to stop in the exact same position she had hit him in.  
  
A dark red mark could be seen on his cheek and it was already showing signs of darker hues. He didn't wince at the pain, he didn't glare at her, he did nothing except continue to stare.   
  
Aida Kensuke and Suzuhara Touji happened to arrive just at that moment. With their typical jovial "Good morning, Shinji!" they walked in, oblivious to the state of the class.  
  
To everyone's surprise Shinji glanced up at them and smiled, just as he did every morning and greeted them in kind.  
  
"Touji, Kensuke, Good morning." Shinji's face looked the same as every other morning. A dimmed cheerfulness which was becoming a bit brighter each day as he opened up a bit more to his friends.  
  
The only differences in class on this morning were the darkening mark on Shinji's face with a small trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth... and the look of absolute terror Asuka wore.  
  
Horaki Hikari joined the class just after Touji and Kensuke, she was absent for Asuka's outburst since she needed to get supplies for the upcoming classes during the day. As she entered one thought entered her mind and would not be refused:  
  
Something was terribly wrong. 


	4. Chapter Four

Anrui / Kanrui: Chapter 04  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion. Please don't sue.  
  
A/N: Ugh. Nothing flows right, but I can't give up. I've written and re-written things so often in the past that I finally give up on them. I'm trying to force myself through. It'll never be nearly as good as I want it to be, but unless I make it happen I'll never write anything. Hopefully I can re-write it later... or I'll just go get myself a Fribble and call it a day. Mmmm... Fribble...  
  
Disclaimer Deluxe: I don't own Friendly's, Fribble or enough money to buy one. Don't sue.  
  
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Katsuragi Misato had things on her mind, this was evident in the fact she found her way to Dr. Akagi Ritsuko's office without getting lost. Somehow, without her mental processes getting in the way, she naturally, nay, subconsciously found her way with no problem. If she had been paying attention she might have been disturbed by that fact. Or perhaps enlightened to her reasons for constantly being inebriated.  
  
Two soft knocks on the door announced her arrival to Ritsuko who was poring over a computer terminal, seemingly in a trance. "Come in." Ritsuko said quietly, replacing what was on the screen with meaningless files.  
  
"Ritsuko." Misato greeted, stepping into her office and closing the door behind her. The tone of her voice indicated something was troubling her. Dr. Akagi wasn't in the mood for idle chat about most things that would get Misato in the assumed state she was in.  
  
"Misato, if this has anything to do with Kaji, beer or your lack of either I'm going to have to ask you to leave."  
  
Misato's eyes went wide, "Ritsuko!" she shouted. At the doctor's sigh Misato calmed slightly and then with an air of having been severely insulted she continued in a lower voice, "Don't talk to me about Kaji."  
  
Ritsuko leaned back in her chair and swiveled it to face her friend, "Alright, so then what has you so touchy?"   
  
Misato leaned against the table nearest her, "Shinji and Asuka are having a problem. Or... problems... I don't know. It just started this morning."  
  
Ritsuko smirked slightly, "I suppose motherhood does not suit you."  
  
Misato frowned, and not in a playful manner. Ritsuko noticed this and thought it better to keep any teasing to a minnimum. This seemed serious.  
  
"So, what happened?" Ritsuko asked, her tone indicating she was indeed concerned and listening.  
  
Misato thought for a moment, staring at her hands. She recalled what she noticed of the morning and the strange behavior of the two pilots. "Well, it's not just one big things... it's a bunch of little things."  
  
Ritsuko "hmm'd?" quietly prompting her to continue.  
  
"When I got up Asuka was shouting at Shinji, which I know isn't new behavior, but the way Shinji took it was... disturbing."  
  
"How so?" The blonde woman asked, concerned about any change in the mentality of the pilots. 'Commander Ikari will have to know of this. I'm not looking forward to it.' she thought dismally.  
  
"Well, normally Shinji just backs down and does whatever Asuka says. If she yells at him he apologizes and scampers to do what's needed to clear it up. When confronted he... waffles."  
  
She took a deep breath and continued, knowing Ritsuko already understood that but felt she needed to point out what struck her as bizarre by way of comparison.  
  
"This morning while she was screaming at him he just... ignored her. I don't mean he hummed to himself and looked away. I mean he..." she almost shivered at the thought. "...he didn't even acknowledge she was there, all through breakfast. He made enough food for us, but didn't make breakfast for each of us separately... and he didn't bother making Asuka's lunch for her."  
  
Ritsuko frowned slightly. It was well out of Shinji's normal behavior but it didn't seem dangerous. "Why did he do that?" she asked quietly.  
  
"I don't know." Misato said with a sigh, "They were getting along so well for a couple of weeks. You saw how they were, even in here. It's like they were childhood friends."  
  
Ritsuko nodded, remembering how the two had seemed to enjoy each other's company. It had seemed a bit strange to her at first, she thought it was some kind of joke. On whom, she had no idea. After two weeks of it though she had grown used to their changed attitudes. Their synch ratios had gone up so she didn't feel the need (or desire) to interfere.  
  
Misato continued, "What I saw this morning... it didn't seem like a fight two friends who were hitting it off so well would have. It seemed so much deeper. It was disconcerting, to say the least. Shinji's attitude towards me was completely normal and then it was as if he had wiped his life completely clean of Asuka. The intensity of it was... shocking."  
  
Ritsuko stated quietly, "Maybe that's it."  
  
Misato quirked her brow at the blonde doctor, "What?"  
  
"You said yourself, 'it didn't seem like a fight two friends who were hitting it off so well would have.' Maybe they are not the kind of friends who were hitting it off so well."  
  
Misato frowned at the thought.  
  
"Or," Ritsuko continued, "It's a fight that people as close as they seemed to have become would have... because the root of it means so much to both."  
  
Misato didn't like either case. "I see what you mean. I think Asuka may be to blame though... when I spoke with her this morning she got very defensive and acted guilty when I brought up Shinji's time with her."  
  
Ritsuko mulled that over quietly, leaving the room silent.  
  
"I don't have to tell you what would happen if all this affected their ability to pilot." Ritsuko stated matter-of-factly.  
  
Misato nodded, hoping whatever had happened would be resolved... and soon.  
  
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Within the class containing three eva pilots, a handful of pilot-to-be's and one very boring teacher, there was a brown haired girl whose elected job it was to keep the peace. The class representative, who arrived after all the excitement, was wishing she was not responsible for getting the supplies the teacher needed for the science lesson. Instead she wished she had been here, in class, when whatever happened... happened. Not only for her own curiosity, and not so she was "on top of things" going on in class. Rather, she wished she had been here for her friends.  
  
One friend in particular was sitting in her seat with her leg spasming slightly. Her hands were clenched at the sides of her desk until her knuckles were white. Hikari, the class moderator, representative, and all around Nice Girl found herself staring unabashedly at her redheaded friend. She stared out of sheer confusion at what could cause said friend to have the look that was currently on her face.  
  
Asuka was staring straight ahead, at least towards the front of the class, but was not paying attention to anything. Her face was a mixture of pure hatred and somewhere in there... terror. Worry. Hikari didn't know what happened before she arrived but whatever it was had shaken her friend terribly.  
  
The other friend involved, who deserved equal concern was sitting at his desk as he did every other day. He was paying attention as much as he could, just like every other day. He took notes and kept his focus on studies, just like most other days. Today, however, he had a severe bruise on his cheek and a couple of spots of blood on his shirt. If things hadn't felt so wrong already Hikari might have dismissed it as over zealous flirting on Asuka's part. Instead, after seeing what transpired after she arrived, she knew things weren't so easily explained.  
  
When the class representative had arrived she was greeted by her friends quietly, as if they didn't want attention drawn to themselves. She made her way over and placed the box of science supplies on the teachers desk and then cautiously approached Ikari's desk... where everyone's attention seemed to be focused.  
  
The first thing Hikari noticed when she got close enough was Asuka's face. She had worn much of the same terror as she did now, as the class representative watched her, but the anger at the time had been replaced by fright. Hikari had never seen Asuka frightened since she had met her and it somehow seemed unbelievable. The scared look in her eyes was pained with deep rooted fears and feelings, that much she could tell. Before Hikari knew it Asuka had spun on her heel and marched past her, not even saying "Good morning" before sitting down in her desk and assuming the position she sat in throughout the day.  
  
The second thing Hikari noticed was the darkening mark on Ikari's face. He was listening to Suzuhara and Aida as they assaulted him with questions about it but he only seemed to watch them, not actually listening to the words. When Aida asked about it he didn't get an answer. It didn't look as though he was ignored, more like he had never asked the question. When Suzuhara asked about lunch Ikari spoke up as though everything was normal and answered promptly.  
  
Throughout the day Hikari had been replaying everything over in her head trying to make out what had happened. She wished she had gotten a chance to speak to Asuka before the teacher had arrived but it was only a matter of moments before he had come in. Hikari would have to ask Asuka about it during lunch.  
  
Watching her friend with a worried brow, Hikari dreaded the coming of noontime.  
  
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A/N: A quick note about Shinji's mental exhibitionism (HENTAI!) *ahem* yes, anyway... there are reasons for it. It gave a bit more background to what happened, for one (can't make this thing TOO long... even though I want to. ^_^) and it showed he was in his right mind. I understand letting people believe otherwise would be fun, but I'm concentrating on other, more eeeeeevil things. Eeeeeevil... EEEEEVIL!  
  
Ok, not so evil. More... butterscotchy.  
  
Thank you, everyone who has read, and thank you EXTRA SPECIALLY (and you know what I mean, *wink* *wink*) those of you who reviewed. You lift my spirits, you give me hope, you make me talk like I inhaled helium... you, you are special to me. I love you.  
  
Let me know if I should do some Omake. I'm... torn, whether I should or not. *ponder pose* 


	5. Chapter Five

Anrui / Kanrui: Chapter 05  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion. Please don't sue.  
  
A/N: *munches happily on a cookie from a reviewer, keeping the second one for later* M'phl... mf, rmfufmph *cookie crumbs sputter from the writer's lips* *finishes cookie* *drinks some milk* *sighs happily* So, as I was saying... M'phl mf, rmfufmph...  
  
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As class let out for lunch Hikari glanced down to retrieve her lunchbox and other essentials for their midday repast but was startled when she glanced back up to see Asuka standing over her already. "A-Asuka!" she greeted softly, then her face softened at the look on the girl's face.  
  
Asuka's visage was set in grim determination, a darkness about her indicated her inner thoughts and feelings. Hikari had intended to ask Asuka to sit with her during lunch so they could talk about it but found she was too slow on the draw. They normally sat together but Hikari was afraid Asuka might want to be alone and hoped to catch her before she left.  
  
"Hikari..." Asuka started, almost sheepishly. Her face showed the pain from earlier with a thin coat of her normal confidance and anger covering it. "Would you mind if I shared your-"  
  
Hikari, suddenly realizing one of the things that was wrong spoke up quickly and cut Asuka off, "Asuka! Would you like to eat with me? I'd like you to try my lunch. I tried something new and..." she trailed off as Asuka's face softened and the barest hint of a smile came through.  
  
"Thanks Hikari..." Asuka said quietly.  
  
Hikari smiled reassuringly and led the german girl from the classroom. She wasn't sure where Ikari and the two other boys were but hoped they wouldn't run into them outside. She decided to take Asuka around the corner of the building towards the back where they might have a bit of privacy.  
  
When they arrived Hikari sat down in the grass under a tree leaving enough room for Asuka next to her. She unwrapped her bento and opened it as Asuka sat beside her. She wasn't sure how to start things off so decided eating was first priority, hoping for an appropriate chance to bring things up. Even if there was no chance, or Asuka didn't want to talk of it, she hoped just being there would help at least.  
  
  
  
She handed the bento to her friend and said warmly, "Take what you like..." then remembering her 'reason' for doing this (other than helping save Asuka's mighty pride) she added, "and please tell me what you think."  
  
Asuka smirked slightly at the obvious game being played for her benefit, but did so in a warm manner, and took the proffered (no, that's not a typo) food. She timidly took a few pieces and chewed them thoroughly. After a few moments she forced a smile, which didn't fool the school representative at all, and said, "It's delicious, Hikari."   
  
Hikari smiled back and as the corners of her mouth slipped back down she stated, "You don't have to smile about it... you don't seem to want to smile right now."  
  
Asuka's face fell and what appeared to be a deep, brooding frown adorned it. Hikari was shocked at the look on the girl's face. Something was troubling her more than Hikari had ever seen. Asuka never let anyone see her feelings other than anger and mirth. The class representative felt flattered that Asuka's comfort with her allowed her to do so. She took it as a compliment to their friendship and steeled herself to help in any way she could. Asuka WAS a good person, she had seen it numerous times.  
  
Seeing that Asuka wasn't initiating a conversation about it Hikari decided to take the first step. "Is... is it about Ikari?" She promptly wished she had kept her mouth shut.  
  
Asuka's face twisted into a look of pure hatred, through gritted teeth she hissed, "Yes, it's about HIM... that... that..." here she paused, her free hand motioning for more words, hateful words, deeply hurtful words to come forth but with her limited japanese slang vocabulary she finally settled on shouting, "BAKA!"  
  
Hikari, throughout that spectacle had leaned away from Asuka, not so much for safety but in shock. "I thought you two liked each other! You were having so much fun..." She thought back to the time that she and Asuka, Ikari and Suzuhara had gone to the movies together. To get Suzuhara there they had said it was just the four of them going as friends but Ikari and Asuka had spent much of the time enjoying each other's company. Not enough to make Hikari and Suzuhara feel unwelcome, but enough for them to have to interact more than normal. It was one of the best times she could remember. A small blush creeped across her cheeks as she thought about it.   
  
Hikari's countenance suddenly turned cold, "Did Ikari do something?" her anger apparent in her tone.  
  
Asuka had continued eating a little and alternated between clenching the chopsticks in her fist and muttering under her breath between mouthfulls.  
  
Hikari could see inner turmoil, a battle of thoughts in Asuka's actions. She didn't know what was going on but hoped Asuka spoke of it before it destroyed her sensibility... more so.  
  
Finally Asuka growled to herself and said, "No... well, yes... he... I..." then let out a frustrated, "AUGH!" and handed the bento back to Hikari. Hikari dimly noticed that Asuka had only eaten a little and had spared the things she knew Hikari liked. Somewhere in her mind that registered and gave another point to her friend for ammunition against any who might say bad things of her.  
  
Hikari watched Asuka as she stared out across the grass, her bento forgotten for the moment while she hoped Asuka would explain everything. After a long while, in a quiet voice Asuka did finally speak.  
  
"I can't figure out what's going on." she said softly, thinking about it with all her might. "We were having fun, I see that now and... it irritates me." Hikari frowned, demurely taking small bites of food as she listened.  
  
"Hikari... those two weeks Shinji and I were together like that..." she paused, "it was my attempt at a joke."  
  
Hikari's chopsticks clattered against her bento as she dropped them. The sound caused Asuka to turn and look at the girl. The brown haired girl was staring back at her with a look of utter shock on her face."  
  
"N-no..." Hikari whispered. "Y-you couldn't..."  
  
Asuka frowned, then shouted, "He had it coming! Don't you see that!?" Her fists clenched, the ire rising again causing her to hate the situation, and all involved... like always...  
  
"He's always showing off! 'Invincible Shinji, Third Child and Pilot of Unit 01'... The ALL IMPORTANT Unit 01! THE ALL IMPORTANT IKARI SHINJI!!!" Her voice was a wailing screech now as she trembled at the vehemence of her words. Hikari sat, shocked, her head slowly shaking back and forth.  
  
"No..." Hikari's reply was small and weak compared to Asuka's outburst. "Asuka... how could you?"  
  
Asuka glared at her friend, the fire normally reserved for The Three Stooges or Ikari alone was directed at the class representative. Something neither girl thought would ever happen.  
  
"So, you're on his side too?" The question was cold and unfeeling, as though both their combined futures rested on the answer. Hikari continued to stare at Asuka and finally replied, "No... I... I don't know all the details, yet. I can say, though..." here she paused and fixed a determined stare at her redheaded friend, meeting her glare with one of her own and a deep scornful frown, "at the moment, I find your actions appalling."  
  
Asuka blinked, her glare dying down under the ferocity of Hikari's own. The reprieve was enough to get her to think again about her actions without her pride or cocksure attitude interfering. It seemed to be held at bay by the simple fact of losing a close friend, perhaps her only friend. It was something Asuka had been dreading and avoiding all day. The simple idea of how wrong she might have been in her actions. She hated being wrong, it made her want to lash out... to strike things, hurt things, hurt what made her BE wrong. At this moment, on this day, she was unable to lash out at the kind girl who shared her lunch. She was unable, on this day, to ignite a fire against her friend who had told her what she already knew.  
  
With gritted teeth and as low as she could Asuka said something that day that Horaki Hikari would never forget and would cement their friendship for years to come. It tallied up many points in favor of the red-haired girl and gave whole wharehouses of ammunition for her defense, which had been depleted considerably after finding out Asuka's recent actions and intents.  
  
Sohryu Asuka Langley said, "I think I was wrong."  
  
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A/N: Alrighty... I know there has been comments of longer chapters but unfortunately I haven't been able to deliver yet. If the ball begins rolling properly in future installments then you may see the chapters double in length. This one, however, began and ended about where I wanted. I know I left out much of what I wanted but I'm fairly happy with the flow. As much as I can be anyway. If I start editing I end up ruining everything (yes, every time... trust me) and then I have to delete it and restart. If you like, think of all this as a rough draft that I would love to go back through and flesh out properly when the time and desire arise.  
  
I received two cookies from a reviewer (Thanks Rudy!) and I'm holding off on eating the second. They were for keeping people in character. I think I've done an adequate job of it but I see a few nigglings that make me think otherwise. It can't be 100% since Asuka most likely wouldn't do something like what she did, and people grow with experiences. Add in any change and characters could spiral out of control in different "OOC" directions. Luckily that's part of fanfiction, if not we'd just be rehashing the series, ne? Anyway, I wanted to thank everyone for reading... REALLY thank everyone for reviewing, and to tell you that I'm trying to keep everyone... themselves. I will give up my second cookie if I fail at any time. (Which is saying alot, those are some damn delicious cookies) *drool* 


	6. Chapter Six

Anrui / Kanrui: Chapter 06  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion. Please don't sue.  
  
A/N: Thanks again for all your reviews, they make me giddy and giggly. ^_^  
  
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The two teenage girls sat silently under their tree for quite awhile before one of them chose to break the silence. Both of them having calmed down, it was with an uncharacteristically meek voice that the robust redhead continued to share her slightly vulnerable side to her best friend by stating, "I don't understand." And indeed, she didn't.  
  
Her fire and ire now dissipated, she glanced from the grass she was staring at up to the sky to watch the clouds move lazily past. It wasn't until she had nearly lost site of one she had been watching for a while that she spoke again.  
  
"I hate being wrong." the german girl stated quietly.  
  
Hikari, the other girl, nodded understandingly. She glanced up at the sky to see what her friend saw, to see if maybe peering up into that endless blue she could glean from it what her friend could not about her situation. Not finding any answers, she instead relied on her own thoughts about it.  
  
"It was just a temporary lapse in judgement... right?"  
  
Asuka continued to stare at the sky, "I... I don't know. I wanted to hurt him so badly. I wanted to watch him suffer." Her voice took on a slightly darker tone, "I still do. Even more so now."  
  
Hikari chewed on her bottom lip thoughtfully and glanced at the girl next to her. She did not like the idea that Asuka wanted to hurt the boy so much. She was used to her bossy nature and the way she treated Ikari but this felt different, as though the harm she wanted to inflict would be irreparable.  
  
Quietly, the brown haired girl asked, "Why?"  
  
Asuka's hands went to her head with a loud "Argh!" and her fingertips began scratching through her hair at her skull. "I don't know!" She balled her fists around clumps of her hair and tugged slightly, pulling her hair and letting the feeling renew her perspective on reality. "I know why he irritates me so much, I know why I want to hate him, I know why I can't stand his smug face..." her teeth gritted together again, "...but I don't know why!"  
  
Hikari frowned, not understanding what her friend meant. It was obvious there was more to the discussion than was being said. It was as if Asuka was omitting things, or taking them for granted while talking about it. The parts unspoken were trapped in Asuka's mind but were still influencing her feelings.  
  
Deciding on another tactic, hoping perhaps to help her gain perspective from another angle the class representative smiled slightly and asked, "Did you like being with him?"  
  
Not expecting the reaction she got, Hikari would have withdrawn the question had she had time.  
  
"I don't know!" Asuka shouted, "I hated him for being so nice all the time, he's always so apologetic, so weak and... Argh! It drives me insane when he just does what he's told!" She was breathing heavily now, her previous irritation returning. "I can't stand it when he does that. It's like he has no will of his own, he's weak and disgusting!"  
  
Hikari watched as Asuka clenched her fists and ground them against her lap while trying to find the words to express herself. When it looked as though Asuka had run her course Hikari glanced back up at the sky and said quietly, "I don't think he's as weak as you believe." which earned her a perplexed glare from Asuka.  
  
"What are you, stupid?" Asuka asked, without the usual bite reserved for when she asked the young Ikari the same question.  
  
Hikari shook her head, both at Asuka's question and the girl's beliefs about Ikari. "He tries to take responsibility, even for other's actions. He may try a little too hard to take on as much as he does, and worries about things that he shouldn't have to... but I think that takes SOME type of strength."  
  
She quickly waved her hands defensively at Asuka's continued stare, "Don't get me wrong, I don't know him as well as you do... but that's just what I see in him." She paused a moment and then continued, "Maybe the way he goes about it is strange, or his attempts at responsibility are misplaced, but he seems to live with a lot of pain." Hikari stared down at her hands.   
  
Asuka scoffed quietly at her friend's words, "You're right, you don't know him as well as I do." It wasn't said maliciously, rather as to illustrate a point. "He runs away like the coward he is, he's afraid, he-" she frowned, that wrenching sensation in her chest again, she placed her hand there and stared at the grass.  
  
Images of Shinji flashed through Asuka's mind, times when he appeared afraid, scared, hurt... times when it looked as though he wanted to run away. The ache in her chest grew as she was assaulted with more memories of the boy.  
  
Hikari glanced up at Asuka when she stopped talking and noticed the pained expression on her face from earlier in the day. "Asuka... what's wrong?"  
  
Asuka shook her head suddenly, her mouth quirking into a confident grin as usual, "Nothing. I'm fine..." her words were hollow and masked but Hikari decided that with the look on her face, Asuka wasn't going to elaborate any further.  
  
Inside Asuka was reeling, 'When I think of what I've done... I-I don't like this at all... why... WHY?!' she thought frantically.  
  
They both heard the bell recalling them to class. Hikari gathered her things and followed behind Asuka. She felt bad that they didn't seem to resolve much of anything, it seemed so convoluted and Asuka's inability to express herself seemed to be a large stumbling block. Hikari disliked Asuka's actions but thought she saw signs of true regret on her part over it. She was glad she could still believe in her friend even after knowing what she did. She just hoped that Asuka could sort her feelings before things got worse.  
  
As they walked Hikari mulled over their conversation in her mind. She decided that sitting down and talking about it more might help, and if not that getting together could help ease Asuka's mind a little at least.  
  
"Asuka, would you like to go for some tea after school? We could talk more if you like."  
  
Asuka hesitated almost imperceptibly as she walked, "I have a synch test tonight. We probably won't be home until late."  
  
Hikari nodded and offered a warm smile to her friend's back, "I understand. If you need, or want to talk more... just let me know."  
  
Asuka stopped suddenly and turned to face her friend. A small genuine smile had replaced her earlier smirk and Hikari was glad, once again, for believing in her.  
  
"It's ok, everything will be fine." Asuka stated, a twinge of arrogance gracing her statement. Hikari's smile slipped slightly but returned as Asuka continued in a sincere tone, "Thank you, though."  
  
Hikari nodded smartly, a silent "Of course!" indicating her dedication to her friend. She couldn't hope to always be free from Asuka's arrogance and the girl's "I only need me" attitude, but she was glad she could be there for the times in between.  
  
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The class representative and her normally boisterous friend arrived in class just before their arrival would make them tardy. Nearly everyone else was seated and ready for the continuation of classes. With a worried look Hikari glanced at Asuka who in turn was trying not to look like she was watching Ikari. The masks had been replaced once again and Asuka's face was the epitome of angst fueled irritation. Hikari wondered how much of that was truly a mask and how much was only there to cover up the feelings Asuka refused to show people. The feelings that would give people a glimpse at her slight vulnerability.  
  
Hikari watched Asuka and noted that her furious seething was not evident any longer and she was controlling herself much easier now. She regretted not being able to get the full story of what happened since much of Asuka's irritation seemed to be aimed at whatever Ikari had done.  
  
'No... well, yes... he... I...' Asuka's voice rang through her mind. What exactly did Ikari do? Hikari sighed heavily to herself and tried to wait patiently for the full story. One small lunch period obviously wasn't enough to figure out what was going on.  
  
Making sure Asuka was composed enough Hikari turned and glanced at the target of the german girl's ire. He, for his part, was acting as though nothing was out of the ordinary. He was going through the same motions as she remembered him doing every other day. The only thing out of place was the small specks of blood still on his shirt.   
  
Hikari frowned, he didn't even bother trying to wash them off? She was sure he had plenty of time during lunch to do so. He seemed to be a neat person normally and unless she had gotten to know him a little as she had she wouldn't have thought twice on it. Instead, it tickled at the back of her mind like an annoying itch, the gentle prodding of a clue to help with an answer.  
  
A second sigh escaped her lips in nearly as many minutes. There was no use in wracking her brain over it, she just didn't have enough information. After another quick glance at Asuka, the class representative opened her work and tried to concentrate on the rest of the school day.  
  
With little success.  
  
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// Omake(ni!) //  
  
Dr. Akagi stood silently before the soul smothering presence of Ikari Gendou. In what appeared to be a deliberate attempt to frazzle the blonde woman, the man at the desk took his time reading the report which had been handed to him. For what seemed like hours he pored over the papers until finally he shattered the silence with his judgement.  
  
"Dismissed."  
  
Ritsuko's mouth opened and closed a few times as she tried to find the words which eluded her. She knew she had to say something or things would only be worse later when he found out for himself. Inadvertantly, she nearly gave the man deep satisfaction by stammering in his presence, instead she was able to compose her thoughts and let them flow smoothly from her lips, "I have been informed that the Second and Third children are having... difficulties." She waited for his reaction and hoped it had nothing to do with her.  
  
Within the oppressively large office the Commander's voice reverberated deeply, "Continue."  
  
Licking her suddenly dry lips Akagi Ritsuko imparted upon her superior all that was told to her by Katsuragi Misato. Her speech was emotionless and succinct, the epitome of refined control. When she was finally done her head swam from hyperventilation. She took deep, even breaths to combat the unintentional side-effect of speaking so rigidly.  
  
After a moment's consideration, which seemed more like none at all the Commander answered, "Understood. Dismissed."  
  
Ritsuko took a moment to shake away the thought of asking what he was going to do and turned to leave. Just as she reached the door she heard the hateful man ask one further thing of her.  
  
"Watch their synch scores carefully and notify me of any changes."  
  
With a dutiful nod Dr. Akagi Ritsuko left the office, grateful to be out of the man's presence... and hoping, for their sake, the Children were back to normal.  
  
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A/N: I happened to look up "Omake" online and found that "Omakeni" means "to make matters worse (id)" I don't know what the "id" part is, but it was so perfect I couldn't pass it up. It made me feel all fuzzy inside. I knew "omake" meant bonus, which most of the time on here means outtakes or rewriting scenes for humor purposes. I'm taking the literal translation, bonus. This omake(ni) is just that, a bonus that will probably make matters worse, and combining the two makes me nod my head at my own witty-witful-ness. Ok, so it's nothing special... I could've just put it in as part of the story. But I didn't, did I! Ah ha! I put it in as a bonus, or else we'd NEVER know what had happened there... right? *sigh* I'm no good at this...  
  
Anyway, humor-ific omake may make their way in sometime but I hadn't come up with anything terribly funny just yet. I'm afraid my fun-ness is limited to spinning around in my office chair and then trying to walk a straight line. 


	7. Chapter Seven

Anrui / Kanrui: Chapter 07  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion. Please don't sue.  
  
A/N: La la laaaa o/` Hi there everyone! As always, thank you for all your support (and baked goods, you guys trying to get me fat? *munches deliberately on another cookie and then washes that down with a brownie*) and thank you very much, everyone who reviewed. I really have no idea how I'm doing except by way of your reviews. When I re-read what I write I find so many things wrong with it and end up wanting to change so much... but after hearing what wonderful things people have said it helps me tolerate what I've put up and lets me leave it alone for the time being. (As I said earlier, I tend to ruin things when I start editing... blah)  
  
Warning: I believe there's more Author Note in this chapter than chapter. I apologize and will try to make it up in the next installment. If you like, just ignore it all. ^_^  
  
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Perspective is a wondrous thing.  
  
Three distinctly different aspects of this phenomenon were experienced by three people during the second half of classes on the day Ikari Shinji had blood on his shirt.  
  
In one case a young woman with blue hair, who was not particular popular (except perhaps in a moderately infamous way for keeping to herself) waited as she did every other day for the end of classes. She had a stoic, reticent nature about herself which could be perceived to indicate the calmness held within. On this day she watched out the window as she normally did and with her mind occupied on deep, meaningful philosophies and theories she was pleasantly surprised when the final bell rang. She was a patient girl, always calmly waiting what was to come. Because of that, time for her was swift.  
  
One other case was of a quiet boy with blood on his shirt. Showing a reluctance in everything he did it is not surprising that he was reluctant to hear the final bell. In fact, one could say he was dreading it. You could not tell by his demeanor or the look on his face which was calm and collected, but the signs were there. He continued about his day as he would any other and that in itself was testiment to the situation. His ordinary actions on an extraordinary day were what gave people pause. Because of his dread (and the desire to escape what he knew was going to transpire) time moved swiftly as well, carrying him quickly (in his mind's eye) into the clutches of a situation he wished to avoid. As with anytime we dread the coming of something, his time was cut quick. The final bell surprised him and cemented his resolve with its ominous tone.  
  
The third and final case for this study was not stoic, nor relaxed in any manner. The pilot for Evangelion Unit 02 and natural redheaded beauty watched the clock with an unnatural intensity. Thoughts whirled and filled her mind like tornados throwing about heavy, deeply meaningful subjects. Unfortunately with how much there was to sort through, by the time she had just an inkling of one thought she was under siege by at least four others giving her no time to fully comprehend any. With all that was happening within the tormented child she desired the end of classes more than anyone present. Her torture throughout the day had been agonizingly slow and had built upon itself until she was nearly sure she would cry out in anguish. With her need for the end of class so strong, it is no surprise it did not come to her in a timely fashion. The young woman experienced countless thoughts and experiences each and every second of the time between lunch and dismissal. By the end she had felt as though she had lived numerous lifetimes, and in some ways... she had.  
  
--------------------------  
  
Horaki Hikari watched the teacher leave after her duties were fulfilled. After, her attention was immediately directed to her closest friend who had stood up and was walking deliberately towards Ikari Shinji's desk. Sensing something bad might happen she hastened herself to gather her things and go support whichever of her friends might require it. Luckily she arrived just behind Asuka and was able to bear silent witness to the exchange.  
  
Asuka stood once again before her irksome irritation, the boy she called Shinji. She had been forced, through the mandatorily inflicted quiet time during school hours, to think more on what had happened within the previous twenty-four hours. Unfortunately, with every string of thought... with every whisper of emotion... thousands of other thoughts and emotions were dragged up from within her, each carrying their own legion with it. Her day's thoughts quickly spiraled out of control but she had understood enough to decide on a rudimentary course of action... for the time being.  
  
"Baka-Shinji," she spoke, anger evident in her voice but not as overbearing as it had been. It almost seemed as normal as usual, which worried many people who knew her. "are you coming with me?" It sounded almost more like a command than a question, but only barely.  
  
The boy continued gathering his things and with his usual muted smile, marred only by the darkened purple bruise on his cheek, he spoke over his shoulder to his male comrades in answer to a question the redhead hadn't been present for. "I have to go in for a synch test, can I join you over the weekend instead?" He had begun talking just before the redhead had finished her question, overlapping it in what would have been a rude manner under normal circumstances. Instead it had answered his friend's query following the normal beats of conversation, the german girl's slight interruption insignificant to the conversation started before her arrival.  
  
Suzuhara Touji unfolded his arms and leaned forward in his chair, he eyed Asuka curiously as he answered his friend, "I guess that would be ok... We understand. You have responsibilities." He paused momentarily, "You pay for the first run of games, though." Contrary to what people thought, he was quite intelligent and when it came to social interaction, his friends got the benefit of his invisible intellect. He seemed to be able to help others more than himself, though, since nearly all matters concerning his own social situations were lost to him.  
  
Shinji frowned at the ultimatum involved in missing the gaming session at the arcade but found it to be as it was, harmlessly playful "I guess that's fine. I'll see you tomorrow then. See you later Touji, Kensuke." Shinji stood up and silently walked past Asuka.  
  
As he passed the class representative Ikari smiled slightly and said, "Good afternoon, Class Representative. I'll see you tomorrow." The young woman he addressed nodded and politely replied, "Good afternoon." somewhat confused by the situation. "See you tomorrow."  
  
Asuka could feel her anger climbing again but decided that discretion would be more beneficial to her than heading off the minor irritation of Shinji's friends witnessing what just happened. She turned and watched the exchange and her eyes followed the boy as he left the room.  
  
Without removing her eyes from the doorway Asuka spoke to her quiet friend, "That... is what he did." Knowing full well Hikari understood.  
  
Hikari nodded slowly with a grim face. Many of the questions she had were answered and things finally started clicking into place. Deciding not to instigate Asuka further she refrained from voicing her internal thoughts. 'Maybe you deserved it, Asuka.' She couldn't tell if she meant it wholeheartedly though, torn as she was. She cared about Asuka but found what she did to be reprehensible. With a resigned sigh she finally stated a thought she hoped was innocent enough.  
  
"I hope something GOOD comes out of all this."  
  
Asuka didn't seem to notice the statement.  
  
"I have to go. I'll see you later." Asuka said quietly, and without the normal arrogant spring in her step, she left the classroom.  
  
Hikari turned to the remaining two Stooges and tried to get more information from their faces. She noticed that they had remained relatively quiet during what happened and wondered if perhaps they were as concerned as she was. It seemed to her that they might have stayed respectfully silent out of courtesy for Ikari and so as not to make matters worse. She found herself appreciating their cooperation.  
  
The two boys were watching her in a similar fashion and she came to the conclusion that she probably knew more than they did.  
  
"Aida-kun," she said finally, turning to the bespectacled boy. He blinked, not expecting to be addressed specifically.  
  
"Y-yes, Class Representative?"  
  
"May I borrow your video camera this evening?"  
  
Aida Kensuke stared at the girl in bewilderment. "My camera? I-I don't know, I don't lend it ou-"  
  
"Aida-kun." Hikari quietly admonished. She accented the honorific with practiced authority.  
  
Aida nodded with an almost inaudible swallow and retrieved the device from his bag.   
  
"I will also need any discs you used today." Hikari added.  
  
Aida went white and was about to renege when Suzuhara Touji spoke up.  
  
"You better do as she says, Ken." It was not a threat, it was a quiet insistence which indicated his concern was for what he had witnessed earlier.  
  
Hikari glanced at Touji, blushing furiously at his coming to her aid. "Th-thank you, Suzuhara-kun." she said quietly.  
  
Suzuhara watched Aida get his discs organized and hand them to the class representative.  
  
"Let us know what you find?" Suzuhara asked quietly, meeting her eyes with an unwavering gaze. At the time, Hikari wished he had met her gaze with that same intensity in other circumstances, but that could come later. She had responsibilities.  
  
"I-I will." Hikari stated quietly, the blush growing in her cheeks. Then turning to Aida Kensuke, "Thank you, Aida-kun. I will return it to you tomorrow. I appreciate this." And with that she turned to leave.  
  
Kensuke grumbled a response and went back to shuffling his items once again into his bag. He barely noticed when Hikari left with his most prized possession after telling them both she would see them in the morning.  
  
"You know Ken, it's not always about you." Touji remarked quietly.  
  
Kensuke glanced up at his friend and stated flatly, "Our trip out to the pool to watch the girl's gym class is on one of those discs, Suzuhara." the sarcasm at using Touji's family name and tone of voice used was not lost on the boy. However, it was not the anger that he would normally have felt at that which colored his cheeks.  
  
"Oh no..."  
  
Kensuke smirked at his friend's lack of foresight. At least he wasn't going down alone.  
  
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A/N: These chapters, at first glance, may seem to appear very short and almost needless. I'm not sure how well I'm doing this, but... words are chosen very carefully. I like to think that my chapters (sometimes) are twice as long as they appear to be. I TRY to put things inside, deep inside... if you're nodding your head right now then I'm succeeding. If you're thinking to yourself 'wha-huh!?' then I'll need to practice more. ~_^ Unfortunately, for every one thing I try to subtly insert I'm sure I'll insert fifty others that will cause mistaken assumptions. Bleh.  
  
Also, anyone sensing people being out of character... there is probably a reason for it that I might not have gotten to yet, or a reason stemming from my interpretation of what happened in the animated series/movies. If it's so blatant that you can't help but ask, please email me and if it's not a major spoiler I can explain my reasoning. I like 'splaining. ^_^  
  
Everyone's personal interpretation will be different. I respect that fact. I don't believe someone's interpretation to be "wrong," rather one of many perspectives. I'm not an effluent writer so even MY interpretations will not come through as I hope they will much of the time. I can, however, explain my intentions... then we get into whether I succeeded in conveying them or not. ~_^  
  
(Maybe this was all just an attempt to rationalize the other half of a cookie out of Rudy ~_^)  
  
And if you're still reading after all this, you deserve a cookie yourself. 


	8. Chapter Eight

Anrui / Kanrui: Chapter 08  
  
A/N: I've been trying to figure out how to keep paragraph indents AND use italics/bold. So far I have to give up one for the other. *sigh* If anyone knows in what format or how to save it so I can keep at least those three things, please let me know. It's a-buggin' me.  
  
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The walk to headquarters was, for the most part, uneventful. Asuka walked far enough behind Shinji that she doubted he even noticed her there.  
  
'If he was noticing me at all…' she thought to herself dryly. That thought just served to weigh her mind down that much more. After leaving class and the veritable social snubbing she received at the hands of the Third Child, she had decided to approach the strange situation the same way she had previous dilemmas, by analyzing what she knew and then formulating a plan to correct what the problem was. As she walked to NERV she picked apart what she knew of what was happening. This time, however, she was doing so while attempting to keep an open mind. The hours of self induced torture during school had only made her mind weary and let her aggressive, angry nature to take control. As she walked she watched Shinji walk ahead of her with his normal… calm… baka… demeanor.  
  
A frown crept over the young redhead's face as she thought back to his reaction when she had punched him. It wasn't her usual love tap, that was for sure. Frankly, she was surprised at herself and a little worried. She had never wanted to hurt anyone so much as she had then and she was afraid the strike was due to a loss of control.   
  
Asuka caught her bottom lip between her teeth as she thought through things. Her temper was explosive and sometimes got her into more trouble than it got her out of, but it was always a controlled anger. When she had punched the boy she was both in complete control of her body, and had absolutely no control over her mind… or emotions… or something.   
  
She shivered.  
  
'I don't like this…' Asuka thought to herself, then after a moment she added, 'I don't like any of this…'  
  
Shinji stopped momentarily to swipe his card through the reader for the door, then entered the building. A few moments later Asuka swiped her card and went through as well, her mind on other things.  
  
The long, desolate halls of NERV stretched out before the young german girl. She knew the way by heart and could get there without even paying attention, much as she had all the other times she had been there. This was both fortunate and unfortunate for her. She could continue her introspective thoughts which wouldn't be interrupted with frivolous things like getting lost. She half wanted to figure it all out and be on her emotional way, and half wanted a blessed distraction from having to deal with it. Why couldn't things just be normal?  
  
'Because you decided to play a cruel, malicious joke on someone who didn't deser-'  
  
"Shut up." the girl muttered to herself as she walked. That sole reproach took her thoughts in a completely different direction. One she was not ready for.  
  
***  
  
"Shinji…" Asuka began quietly. The boy she was addressing no longer got nervous at the change in her voice and attitude. Instead she could tell he was nervous because of other reasons.  
  
"Y-yes, Asuka?" Shinji was finishing up dinner and getting ready to serve it for them. It was only Shinji and Asuka this evening, which suited Asuka just fine.   
  
"Would you walk me to the store after dinner?"  
  
The boy nodded warmly, "Sure." his gaze lingered on the girl a heartbeat longer than was necessary and he turned back to getting dinner.  
  
As she watched him shuffle about Asuka couldn't help but think that the introverted boy had finally come out of his shell a bit. It wasn't overly dramatic, but the signs were there. She noticed he would speak more easily to her after she had stopped being intentionally mean to him. He seemed more comfortable with being himself and not worrying about reprimands. Once in a while, on rare occasions, he even spoke his mind… about trivial things at least.  
  
Asuka was smiling as she watched the boy, without realizing it.  
  
They ate dinner and talked about small things, nothing important. Asuka reigned in all the hurtful words she had for the boy, content in the fact that she would drop the Big One in another week or so and revel in it then.   
  
She was finding it easier and easier to not be so angry and spiteful. The girl believed it to be in reaction to knowing what was to happen to the boy. The utterly thorough defeat of him at her hands. He would pay for all those times he beat her synch scores, all those times he was so smug and self-righteous towards her.  
  
The girl blinked suddenly as she sat at the dinner table. She hadn't seen that side of him in weeks. He hadn't acted smug towards her, he hadn't said anything that rubbed his piloting abilities in her face. A wide grin spread across Asuka's features. He really had let his guard down, the time was coming soon. Obviously being friendly with one another had gotten him to drop his pretenses of making her life miserable. He trusted her.  
  
Yes, the climax to this was going to be very sweet. Very sweet indeed.  
  
"Are you ready to go?" Shinji asked, wiping his hands on the hand towel by the sink. The table was cleared and the only thing left was Asuka's cup of tea.  
  
Asuka blinked again and glanced up at her target. "Huh? Oh… no. I don't think I'm going to go tonight. I changed my mind."  
  
Shinji frowned and cocked his head to the side curiously. Normally it would take him nearly a full minute to stammer out his next question but recent events had allowed him to speak a bit more easily to the girl. "Is everything alright?"  
  
Asuka could hear the concern in his voice and wanted both to snap at him for thinking she was so weak, but also to thank him for being considerate. The second desire only a fraction of a fleeting notion, but there… until she pointedly ignored it was there at all. She was able to not ruin her plans, however, and just repled, "Everything is fine. I just don't feel like going now."  
  
Shinji thought for a moment and offered another warm smile, "Would you like me to go for you?"  
  
The german redhead shook her head slowly, looking at the table. "No, it can wait." she paused for a moment and then said, "I'm going to read for a little while and then go to bed. Good night."  
  
Shinji watched the girl rise and start out of the room, "Would you like me to bring you anything?" he asked quietly, wondering what had caused her sudden change in attitude.  
  
"No… that's alright." was her reply.  
  
"Well, good night then." he said and picked up her cup to wash.  
  
Asuka walked to her room and closed the door quietly. Things were going well, as well as she had planned and that made her feel good. She wasn't smiling though. She wasn't even grinning.  
  
At first it was hard to act tolerant of her roommate and fellow pilot. When she had asked him to go to the store she had planned on working to make her plan that much more reliable… but she decided against it. Not for the first time since it began she tried to think of her true motives and feelings.  
  
Everything was going according to plan, and that was good. The words were there, and she knew the feeling of them… the idea behind them… but it all felt so empty.  
  
***  
  
Asuka stared at the door before her. A door she had never seen before.   
  
"Level C-013?" she asked aloud. "Where the hell am I?"  
  
Growling low she spun around and began walking back the way she had come, back down the long dark corridor. 


End file.
